yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
