Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
