her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
