and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
