I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
