the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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