I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
