I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
