My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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