"it" just moved
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
