I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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