He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
