What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
time to smoke my breakfast
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
