"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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