apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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