dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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