I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
