I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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