toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
