dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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