Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
