the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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