Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize