im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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