so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
