Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
