We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
