I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
