So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
