There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
