I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can I color on your dick again?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
