god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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