I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's never too late to be topless.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
