you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
