Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
