He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize