I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
