That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
