So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
