I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
