last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
