They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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