There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
