dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
