so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
