so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
