haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
