STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
