He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
