Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
