he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
how drunk are you?
Several
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
