I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
