Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
