Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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