Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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