I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
