i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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