i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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