sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
