We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
