maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
