When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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