doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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